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By: Elizabeth Simental
When I was asked to write a testimony as a Catholic, professional and married woman; I could not avoid to think that I was not the best example and I would rather not writing it. I thought it was very difficult for me to balance my relationship with God with my personal development, my married life with my responsibilities at work. Furthermore this made me feel real bad because I work for a Foundation aimed to help women and where we precisely propose how to be an integral woman. So I went on thinking till I got to the conclusion that many of the people that were going to read this article might be going through something similar, that they might feel understood and find this useful. I hope so.
It is no new for anybody the so called “feminine Liberation”. Despite our believes we cannot deny that we are immersed in the culture we have been born in: “we are children of this century”. This famous liberation has brought much progress. I will not mention it because it is not the objective of this article, but I think all of us know it because we were born and raised with it. I am aware that the recognition of women rights is not a reality in every culture, nor in every social status or family, but I am going to refer to those that have had this great opportunity.
I will tell you something about myself. I am 25 years old, almost 26, I left home at the age of 18 in order to study what I chose. Ever since, I have lived in 4 different cities, I worked 2 years to support myself and finish my studies, I got married one and a half year ago. ¡Yes at 24! This was the happiest moment in my life, the only thing that scared me was the fact that someday I would have to stop working to devote to my family. Yes I am FOR THE FAMILY, FOR THE VALUES AND FOR THE CHILDREN. But the fact of stop being productive was always on my mind.
I think many women can understand me, there are a lot of factors that invite us to get out of our homes to devote ourselves to work: the need for personal development, economic needs, competition between man and woman, social pressures to be productive and independent, and so on.
After a year and a half of marriage I have not quitted my job, but during the last months I have thought about the fact that the more I get “independent” and “productive”; the more I delegate tasks like cooking, sewing, fixing, and so on, the more I miss having the real possibility of doing so.
I know I may sound old fashioned in this time and age, but let me explain myself. I try to keep a perfect balance and I read about the ideal integral woman that we need to be, but to be honest, I am far from it. In spite of my usual political activity, I appreciate, more and more every day, a woman that shows emotional stability, a well taken care of home, happy children that have their mother by their side for whatever they need, a natural flower in the center of the table, a woman that wants to be pretty to keep attracting her husband, a delicious food, etc. And all of a sudden I have the feeling that I will not have that, unless I change my priorities.
Is it possible to get it all and reach a perfect balance? Do wonder women exist? It might be possible, in fact I know a few, not many. Part of my real personal and spiritual growth has been an intense work to get to know myself and I have discovered I do not have the profile of a wonder woman. Today I know that in spite of wanting to create great changes in society, my calling from God was marriage and I will follow this vocation making my husband and my children happy before any other interests I may have in life. I have also learned that God’s will is not about doing many things, but in doing what He asks us to do, even If we feel we can do more. Now I know I want to devote myself, do something for God and for the others, but first I have to feel well, what means: pray, sleep enough hours, exercise, take care of my home and feel that I am part of it. I do not have children yet! But above all I know that I have to be happy in order to be able to show Christ’s face and that useless worries are not good.
Do I still like to work? I love it! And I am seriously convinced that I will never be able to quit. I will try to find the way, but not sacrificing my home, my vocation. Not long ago I thought that if I really wanted to be free, I had to find a way to create a life project in which I could define my job circumstances without having to sacrifice my stability and my family. I decided to start a M.D. that allows me to give psycopedagogical orientation for children and parents from my house.
To conclude I must say that all these reflections are awakening and making me take actions: I am rescheduling my days, I am learning again to pray, starting to cook some days at night, etc.
I am convinced that society needs woman and her active participation, but it needs a woman identified with her vocation, happy and sharing with others the love that fills her everyday. I am convinced that in order to be a woman it is necessary to live from the inside to the outside. So in the list of top priorities, number one is to nourish a relationship of absolute confidence with God, without the possibility of breaking the balance or harmony; a relationship that allows me to listen to Him and let myself be guided in the different circumstances of my life, knowing I am following His will. I do not want to feel guilty for doing or not doing, for achieving or not achieving, but accepting with love who I am and my circumstances. I hope to be able to cultivate such relationship. For the time being, I am starting again!!!!!!!
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