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By: Elena Zierold (psycotherapist)
How many times have we heard that we were not taught how to be parents?
How many times have we heard children and adolescents say, when they are scolded or punished, that they are going to be different with their children?
The answer to those questions is: Repetition
When we talk with our siblings, friends, and students about their preferences, for example referring to food, most of the times they tell us about the things they like and they correspond to things they were used to since they were little kids, most of those things are related to special celebrations, and very often, regarding things their grandmas or mothers used to cook.
The same thing happens with habits, traditions and ways of behaving. We learn everything since we are little kids, that is why, when we face an easy or difficult situation for the first time we tend to react just the way we learned.
It is as if generation after generation, families followed the roles of a theater play, each one has a role ”X” and the next generations learn their role ”X” either, as father, mother or son, etc.
For example, sometimes, as adults, we find ourselves repeating the same words our mother used to say when we were little. Sometimes we do not even notice we are repeating.
This is what I mean with the answer I gave to the two questions I started this document with, I mean, repetition.
We repeat this kind of conducts without being aware of it, that is why, when we say that we were not taught how to be parents or that we are going to act differently from our parents, it is only the expression of a desire, but in reality, only if we analyze why we act the way we do, we will be able to make our wishes come true and stop repeating.
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