By: María Fernández García (pedagogue)

Talking about discipline during this stage of life might seem something impossible, because it is exactly during this vivencial crisis period from childhood to adult life when a young person faces a number of difficulties, changes and adjustments that question and upset him/her, including respect for rules and established laws.

The adolescent lives a permanent breakdown or maladjustment, that encourages him/her to find and recognize him/herself as the person he/she really is and wants to be in the future. This is what we call the “identity search”, which is the most important task to carry out during these tempestuous years.

Adults think that youngsters are unmanageable regarding discipline recognition and respect for limits, but in fact it is totally the opposite, because although we can interpret their external manifestations as resistance towards rules; really inside them, they need and ask for limits, because this makes them feel secure.

Knowing the limits, that means, up to where, when and how is something they do not have very clear, although they react and feel that this is as an imposition or abuse, discipline serves as a guide for their own conducts and reactions and help them to understand that every action has inevitable consequences.

Today’s society shows two great problems, among many others: one is that it has become very permissive, and the other is that adults suffer from a kind of panic to confront their children or students, and demand from them the observance of normative, familiar and school dispositions.

Therefore, this task turns out to be a little difficult to manage since it does not seem to be very clear and we are questioning ourselves all the time. Parents do not have very clear when to give permission, how to manage the perfect timing for work, fun, house chores, etc., and there is not a manual or magic “recipe” that tells us the right thing to do in each case and concrete situation.

Therefore, it is important to understand that in order to interact with others (family, friends, teachers, people…), we must respect, first of all, the person itself and then some rules that are established in a specific way in some fields, and others that are implicit, if we want to interact with others in an atmosphere of respect and dignity, that is so necessary in our society.

Rules provide a parameter to know what to do and what not to do in each situation, time and place. So if we clearly explain what we expect from adolescents´attitudes, not only will they learn that this discipline is not a mere imposition, but they will find useful tools for a social coexistence, whatever that is.

If this period of life is characterized by physical, cognitive, emotional and social failures and maladjustments there is nothing better than offering a contention parameter, so that, that insecurity translates into certain guidelines to help them to improve their conducts and self-control.

Discipline is part of the learning process; it has to be considered as a positive education, not necessarily an imposition but a conscious and planned education, because it tries to find balance between disorientation and a possible control of impulses, always respecting their independence and freedom as long as they are part of a process towards self-achievement.

Helping adolescents to live this stage as a wonderful adventure, full of opportunities of change, gives them the possibility to become authentic, self-confident youngsters capable of establishing their identity, which will help them to understand that they are unique, unrepeatable and valuable people.

Discipline is another educational element in life, but it is in this stage of life where people specifically redimension it, due to that need of safety and contention, through a clearly established system of rules that allow the adolescent to have a respectful and human coexistence with others.

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