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Is Friendship Possible Between a Man and a Woman?
By: Manuel Alejandro Ramos
It seems that since long time ago women have had a rather passive role within society, family, work and even life itself, but new ideas have appeared in recent times, but not because they are new means they are correct. It is frequent to hear everywhere that men and women are equal; it is also common to hear that they are opposite sexes. When a woman is considered to be a thing instead of a person, she loses some roles that she has in society like her role as a friend, among others.
This time I would like to remark woman’s role as friend, particularlly as a friend of a man.
It is advisable to notice that true friendship is only possible among equal people, not equal sex, nor culture, nor the socio-economic level; but equal in virtues. There is no friendship if you do not consider the other as a person, a valuable person, it would not be a real friendship it would rather be a benevolent friendship. In a benevolent friendship there is always one that is considered to be superior and for this reason it cannot be friendship among equals.
When we see a man and a woman together, sharing life and time, we immediately think that they are “flirting” or that there is an attraction between them, without considering that it can be pure friendship and nothing more. It is because the attraction between man and woman is perfectly natural; though not imperative. The human being due to the fact that he/she is a rational being and a spiritual being can overcome his/her natural inclinations and follow the reason. In this way a human being is able to change, by means of his/her superior faculties, the environment and transform it, but he/she can change not only external things, but also the internal ones, he/she can change himself/herself!
It is true that an individual can change himself/herself by means of his/her intelligence and will. He/she can be better every day, especially in the moral field. The human being is a perfectible being, because he/she is a spiritual agent, free because he/she can set the objectives and goals he intends to reach in order to be happy.
Men and women are rational and spiritual agents, so they take their relationships to fields and levels that transcend corporeity and instincts, even getting to overcome the natural attraction that could exist between them.
Nevertheless I do not intend to deny the possibility that afterwards, as they know each other better, this friendship could become something else, since it is natural that men and women feel attracted; but if there has already been a true friendship due to their virtues, even the courtship period could trespass the attraction and the falling in love barriers reaching a true love. Even if the relation did not work like the friendship did, then the friendship that still exists between them will remain, just because they cannot stop loving each other, because they have seen in the other person something that is not limited to the corporal or sentimental field. They have recognized the virtue in the other; they are seeing with the eyes of the spirit a virtuous person, not a thing.
With the eyes of the spirit they can even see their soul reflected in the other, because we try to find ourselves in another person through friendship and courtship. We look for happiness not only inside ourselves, we necessarily also look for happiness sharing it with others. We could say that I exist because you exist. There are not coincidences in the world, people enter and leave our life for some reason.
Friendship between a man and a woman is possible; and it can be very full if it is taken to the spiritual field. A very clear example is what happened between Saint Francis and Saint Clair of Asis. Both of them took their friendship to spiritual limits, of course there was love, but a love beyond the corporal level (Clair was a very pretty young lady). Francis and Clair saw the face of God in Creation. They loved God reflected in themselves, it means, Clair loved God in Francis and vice versa; God in turn loved Clair and Francis through their own love, but God’s love did not end in them…
To conclude we can say that there can only be friendship between a man and a woman if both consider themselves as equals, both members of mankind. Both are different faces of the same coin forged with the same metal and the same Artisan. To have value, the coin needs its two faces, if not, it would only be a piece of metal as many others…
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