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Free Love
By: Rebeca Reynaud
A person who defends free love says: “Love is not love if it is not free”. Apparently, that person places love above all, but he/she really does not. He/she places individual freedom above love. His/her position is equivalent to saying: “I give you everything except my freedom, which is the most valuable thing for me. It is more valuable than you”. Do not commit oneself, is that love?…
If you rent a house, do you compromise all your money trying to remodel it? No. Why? Because it is something temporary. Someone in favor of free love says: “I am going to experiment with you, if you are suitable for me, I will continue…”
Those who really love, place individual freedom at the service of love. Those who accept free love or trial marriage are insecure people. Most of the times they act like that because they have seen infidelity in their parents of have had a negative experience with love. A person who defends this posture says: “I do not get married because there are failures in married love”. Instead of saying: “I become an adult to commit as an adult does to love, love without commitment is not love”.
Free love takes human beings as trial objects but the human being is destroyed forever in that trial, in the biological, psychological and moral aspect.
Free love is equivalent to a trial marriage to know each other better; but that observation is artificial, avoids spontaneity, because you will always be taking care of your image. Experience has showed that trial marriage does not guarantee a deep knowledge of the person since human being is always in a constant evolution; he/she is changeable by nature; nevertheless he/she can overcome that deficiency with his/her virtues and with the hard attraction towards the good inside his/her heart.
Men want to be admired by women, but their tendency to be attracted by women is stronger, the sexual part is stronger than the emotional part. If men do not control themselves they will think they are fully in love with the last beauty they saw, when they are really being slaves of a superficial sensuality.
Fidelity should not be considered as stability, firmness or inflexibility. If you accept this you will confuse fidelity with dynamism, inventiveness and spontaneity. Fidelity, on the other hand is love growth, affection constancy, and life quality. An in love person tends to the total, everlasting and exclusive “yes”, to say yes without reserves. A person who does not experiment the feeling of an everlasting devotion, with no possible return, does not really love.
A trial marriage is an irregular situation that many people try to justify nowadays, attributing some value to it. Human reason itself suggests that it is unacceptable and little convincing to make an “experiment” involving human beings, whose dignity demands to share a devotion love, with no limits of time; asking them to be aims not means.
John Paul II used to tell the Germans: Body and sexual union is something great and beautiful. But it is only worthy if it is integrated to a personal link, recognized by the civil and ecclesiastic society. Every carnal union between a man and a woman must only take place within the personal, exclusive and definite, fidelity of marriage. (…) You cannot live or die on trial. You cannot love on trial and for a determined period of time (Germany, November 15 1989, n. 5).
The gift of the body in the sexual relation is the symbol of the total devotion of a person. This does not exist without an education in true love and a correct use of sexuality.
Ana Catalina Emmerick writes: “Everything that man thinks, says and does has a life and goes on living as a good or bad action. Bad actions have to be repaired through confession and penitence: otherwise, the consequences of the sin will continue endlessly” (volume X, 478, n. 45).
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