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By: Ana Patricia Vera (psychotherapist)
An individual becomes aware of his/her capacities, potentialities, achievements and aspirations in his/her every day life. He/she questions his/her way of living and feels inside a clear need of feeling loved by someone in a special way and giving what he/she’s got inside, that means, love and being loved.
Love has been a concept that has been lived and reflected on through many centuries; but lately it has been reduced by many authors and tendencies to a genital situation or mere sentimentalisms. Nevertheless the search for a total and full love experience persists and this is how people keep on wondering and looking for true love in their life.
But what does love mean? This love that expresses itself through the body, that is identified in the thoughts and feelings that come from deep inside the person; and that wraps and involves even the most superficial thing. Love, defined as the discovery of the mutual desire of belonging and giving our self to an “Other” who corresponds with a similar devotion, where the happiness of that “Other” is our happiness, so we are constantly looking for the well being of the beloved one.
From this point of view, as stated by Wojtyla, “Loving is not easy. It involves affective maturity, willpower, self-control capacity, renunciation and devotion habit”. Therefore, the full love involves self-knowledge, a solid psychological basis, because devotion implies everything: time, thoughts, feelings, plans, the same life shared with that “Other” whom we chose to love and grow with.
And what happens when along that search and true devotion we get a broken heart and we face the paradox of looking for love but we are afraid of loving again?
Going back to the beginning, to the grounds of love, to the center of oneself and strengthening our self-esteem, rediscover who we are, what we want, where we are going to and how. It is when psychological orientation becomes useful to overcome some traumas, to find our personal value and rediscover our capacity to love and devote knowing what we are looking for.
Loving is not easy; but the constant effort and struggle are worthwhile to fully love.
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