By: Nancy Escalante
Everyday we see relationships between men and women, which we call loving relationships or courtships, in spite the great number of this kind of relationships, only some of them turn into a deep relationship and become true love, beyond attraction, having fun together, falling in love and their own interests.
Courtships are a wonderful stage in a person’s life because this is the time where you discover yourself excited about someone who you consider special, you discover that you start doing, thinking and wanting to do things that didn’t exist in your life before and you didn’t think you were capable of.
Some relationships of this kind start to live this stage based upon a sensual pleasure, forgetting about the most important thing that is the knowledge of the other. In this sensual pleasure the couple experiences, each of them is centered is his/her own interests, which prevents him/her to know deeply the other person; giving rise to selfishness which is the greatest obstacle for love. As a consequence of this selfishness, the person feels afraid of commitment, because a selfish person thinks that he/she will lose his/her freedom and the opportunity to get pleasure when it is quite the opposite, this fear to lose freedom implies a chain of slavery that does not let you act, therefore, the person loses that freedom he/she wants to keep. On the other hand, it is very difficult that a true link is created if there is not commitment and reciprocity between the couple. That is why in this type of relationships, where the main objective is to have a good time, everything is ephemeral and sooner or later, the person feels empty, bored, disappointed and with a great deal of frustration as a consequence of his/her own selfishness.
In this sense, courtship true values that give rise to love and therefore to stability and happiness are those that imply devotion, respect, and reciprocity, mutual knowledge of each other, acceptance and unselfishness.
A couple needs to go through different stages in a relationship in order to live a true love and establish solid and fruitful foundations for such relationship.
The first step in order to live true love is when we feel physically attracted towards a person of the opposite sex, which promotes to become acquainted with each other and coexistence, this will help the couple to discover if they complete each other, since men and women were created to complete each other and become one flesh.
However, completeness between two persons of the opposite sex is just a step towards true love because it is necessary that such completeness arises in a deep and true way.
It is important that a couple shares common ideals, that both look in the same direction, that they are willing to deeply know each other, in order to find a true Love, in this way the couple starts living integration, that means, to be part of each other, they need each other, they not only look in the same direction now they walk towards that direction through support and communication being able to look in each other’s eyes with transparency. It is necessary that in these completeness, encounter and integration, the couple seeks to transcend. This is possible if both of them base their relationship on a Superior love to grow individually and as a couple so that this love gives fruits.
As a conclusion and regarding all of the above mentioned we suggest that you always pay attention to the following points in your relationship:
• Do not be selfish, do not center only in personal interests
• Do not forget that knowing each other is the most important thing
• Promote friendship
• Respect
• Reciprocity
• Acceptance
• Fidelity
We also suggest that as a couple you seek:
• Mutual acquaintance
• To go out from yourself and devote your soul to the other
• Commitment
• Devotion
• Transparency
• Encounter
• To go deep
• Solid foundations
• Integration
• Transcendence
• Love and superior truth – God
