 |
By: Father Nicolas Schwizer
What can we specifically do for our natural family to become a true community of love?
1. Community of nuptial love.
In order to be a community of nuptial love, we have to educate ourselves so that we may succeed in having, by all possible means, a more profound mutual encounter: one of greater confidence, of more inner depth, of communication between husband and wife. It is important to be able to entertain ourselves together and that we do not need others to be at ease. We should have the joy of being married…..the joy of living together and the joy of being able to share everything. It should not happen that in our marriages there are men and women who feel lonely, are incommunicative, or lack the company of their spouse.
The dangers: In order to have that deep encounter, we must be careful of the dangers:
The danger of work (a balance between work and family life), the danger of friends (who can be a negative influence in the marriage), the danger of relatives (who unfortunately are enemies at times)…..And the inner dangers, for example: routine, selfishness, lack of understanding, disillusionment…..
Facing these specific dangers, we must seek the anchors for our community of nuptial love.
a) Communication or regular dialog. It can be weekly, biweekly or monthly. It is a time for the married couple to come together and review their circumstances, to look at the problems they are facing and the possible solutions. They can also share their ideals, their resolutions, etc.
b) Another anchor can be: Ask each other forgiveness each time there is a problem and, especially, not go to sleep without having asked forgiveness from each other.
c) Another possibility is to ever- so- often spend some time away from home, the two alone, or at least do something together which is pleasing to both like eating out, for example. The reason for this is to try to discover the things which mutually unite us. The constant routine can cause disquietude or the batteries can become discharged, and finally there can be a short- circuit or even serious fires.
Help from God. By means of the sacrament, God is not only the third-party, but He is also God present in the spouse. As we look at each other, we should see God in our spouse. As we love each other, we should love God in our spouse. Thus the meaning of the words of Saint-Exupéry: “To love is not to look at each other mutually, rather it is for both to look in the same direction.” Translated for us means: to love is looking together at the same God who is transparent in each other.
2. Community of paternal-maternal love.
As mothers and fathers, our most important task is to be educators. Finally, we are the ones who educate our children. All other organisms, although important, are complementary: school, church, relatives. If we want to be good educators, we have to begin with ourselves. Father Kentenich, the founder of the Schoenstatt Movement, says: “Nothing intervenes so profoundly in education as the educated educator. According to the measure in which we strive vigorously for fulfilling in ourselves the requirements we demand, a mysterious influence, a mysterious strength will flow from us.”
This will help us to secure the interior life of our children; it will help us to guide and serve it. It will help us to permanently concern ourselves for them and to help prepare them for their life’s task.
Questions for reflection
1. As a married couple, do we do something together?
2. Is it difficult for me to ask for forgiveness when I have failed?
3. Do our dialogs often end in fights?
If you wish to subscribe, comment on this text or give a testimony, write to: pn.reflexiones@gmail.com
Translation: Carlos Cantú Family Federation La Feria, Texas
|
|
|
 |
