By: Claudia Orozco

Have you ever heard the term: “educate in negative”? Let me give you some examples of what it is. A teacher telling her/his students in a class: “Don’t make it out with your boy/girlfriend (until marriage)!”. “Do NOT watch porn”. “Don’t do foreplay”. “Don’t smoke”. “Don’t drink and drive”...

What are the results of this kind of education? Less number of marriages, rising of divorce rate, more violence between families and relationships, more money spent in pornography, promiscuity, rise in contraceptive and condom usage, more teen pregnancies ending up in abortions, deaths…

It is clear that the panorama painted by this negative or restrictive education is not desirable at all. Many years we have educated our children and youth using this methodology, for it is the one our parents used when educating us. Traditional education states that it is better to control and make people behave in a certain ordered way, than to empower them and make them think critically.

Talking about sex education, there are different postures. The traditional one sees sexuality as a restriction, something that is only possible within marriage and only to procreate. In this context, marriage is seen as the only way not to condemn oneself, for sexuality is approached as something evil but necessary. Everything that deals with sexuality is completely sinful and chastity is a God-given gift that makes people safe. An example of this traditional sexual education is when the father chose a husband for his daughter (with whom, obviously, had never talked about sex nor her feelings). Another example is to think that celibacy is the perfect remedy to forget about everything to do with exerting their own sexuality.

Traditional sexual education also makes emphasis in the punishment and reward methodology. People who grew up with this kind of education tend to be very hard on themselves, they suffer lot of shame, anxiety or fear when having some sexual experience. Our nature dictates us that there are actions we do that will benefit us, and others that don’t. If traditional education emphasizes the guilt of our conscience; rather than making us understand the real reasons of our actions, then people with this education will be very unlikely to develop strong relationships of love and affection.

The Sexual Revolution brought many changes to the paradigm of sexual education. People had realized they could no longer continue educating the future generations, as they were educated. They made emphasis in the biological and medical point of view of sexuality. This kind of education was more liberal and, in deed, had successes in the sexual education approach. For instance, women’s and health rights were acknowledged. Sexuality was recognized as a natural dimension of human personality, not only part of our bodies, but something that permeates the whole person. This would have led to a mature posture of sexuality, but rather it stopped in emphasizing pleasure over everything else. So this drove people to promiscuity, all kind of sexual experiences with almost everyone, sexual orientation and sexual identity which can be chosen…

Rather, we must educate in positive! We must learn from the good and bad assets of both Traditional and Liberal Sexual Education, so we teach the wonders of sexuality. Instead of saying: “don’t fornicate” – for instance – what about if we say “please, LOVE”. Isn’t it different? Doesn’t it give a different connotation? Is it more likely to follow that way? If we ourselves understood the beauty of sexuality, we couldn’t teach something else than how lucky we are of being sexual and capable of love.

Do you know the wonders of sexuality? Do you want to teach it to everyone? Are you into love? …more about these questions in our next article. Keep in plug!

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