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By: Fr. Thomas Loya
Ladies, if you remember nothing else from my articles on the theology of the body, I hope that you will remember these words: IT IS ALL ABOUT YOU! And men, please keep those words in mind as well because males only become men by making sure is its all about her. Yes, you are reading this correctly and it is coming from a Catholic priest, a member of the Church that all too often gets accused of being chauvinistic and unfair to women. It is a priest from that Church that is telling you ladies that in the entire order of Creation, in the life of the Church, IT IS ALL ABOUT YOU.
Now, admit it. I don’t think you have even heard Oprah say that nor even Dr. Phil. How can I say something so preposterous? It is because it is not me saying it but rather the language, the theology of our bodies that is undeniably screaming it. And this comes to it fullest revelation in the Christmas event that is about to be celebrated.
In John Eldridge’s book, Wild at Heart, he correctly says that a man needs three things: An adventure to live, a battle to fight, and a woman to rescue. He does not mean that women are weak and need rescuing. Rather he means every male, in order to become a man, must live for a woman. He must, like Superman soaring through the sky with Lois Lane on his back, take her out of herself and up into an exciting adventure. He must romance her, throw her off, keep a step ahead of her, take her by the hand, and lead her into areas that are frightful yet alluring. He must defend and protect the intrinsic dignity and holiness of her femininity that is stamped in the language of her feminine body-person.
The reason this is stamped in the language of our male and female bodies is because it is our way of sharing in the fundamental mystery of all of life that we are about to celebrate: Christmas. This event is about a God who makes it all about her—all about His bride. God’s entire creation and in particular the human person is described in Biblical and in Church language as His Bride. And God made it all about His Bride. He made it all about The Woman. First He created her so that He could pour His love into her. And when she got into trouble, when she took the great “Fall,” God took on human flesh while still remaining God and swooped down like Superman to rescue her. It always was about The Woman. It still is and it always will be.
Men are hardwired by God to make it all about you ladies. Men need to make it all about you in order to become men. That is why the language of the male body says, strength, protection, authority, order, transcendence. It is why men’s gaze is by nature more external, single focused, and further than that of woman. It is so he can see the far, exciting places to which he must take his bride. It is so that he can see the potential enemy coming over the hill that might threaten his bride. And gentlemen, if you make it all about her as a woman, she will reciprocate to you in ways you could never have dreamed. Ladies, help your man make it all about you. Teach him, encourage him, and believe in him. Let him know he can be your Superman.
The Christmas event is the Great Mystery referred to in Ephesians 5 in the Bible. It is the Bridegroom coming to wed His bride. It is God making it all about the Woman, all about His Bride. That is the fundamental order of creation and of the Church. We were designed by God to participate in and to imitate that Great Mystery. This is undeniably stamped in the language, the theology of our bodies.
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